One of my “Secrets of Adulthood” (and idea I adopted from Gretchen Rubin) – is:
There are some seasons in life that you just have to muddle through.
This has been one of those seasons for me.
For the past month, my 4 year old has largely refused to wear underwear. My 2 year old has been getting her last few teeth, which means that she has gone from being basically weaned to using my breast as a pacifier for about 5 hours a night. And I had a rather disappointing tax return.
I’ll be honest, I’ve been really cranky about these issues. It finally got to the point where I started joking (but only half-joking) with my husband, that I’m going through a midlife crisis.
I know it’s melodramatic.
But, on the other hand, on one of the afternoons where I had to leave work early because my daughters (who come to work with me) were fighting, fussing and yelling, and I was so frustrated that I thought: I could just drive away and start a new life somewhere else…I remembered: No, Maggie, you’re just having a midlife crises, this will pass.
Instead of going wherever the road and my maxed out credit card would take me, I went home and made myself my favorite comfort food (cheese quesadillas in the toaster oven and chocolate chip cookies) instead.
I certainly hope that I’m not halfway through my life, but I did just have a birthday with a zero at the end. And I think this is a fair time to take stock, look around and see if I’m living the life I want to live.
If my older daughter continues to wear underwear and my younger daughter’s teeth finally come through, I hope I’ll be able share some other thoughts on this.
But for now, I’m just accepting that I’m going to have to muddle through this season. Somehow accepting that I have to ride this wave to the bottom has freed me from the sense of hopelessness that was starting to take over my life. I know that approach wouldn’t work for everyone, but for me…I know I can muddle through for awhile. And I’ll muddle a lot better if I don’t have to pretend that everything is sunshine and rainbows.