This summer, I have become keenly aware of the amount of fear, anxiety and paranoia I experience as a parent.
These are just a few of the things that have been weighing on my mind.
- Car Seats – I realized a few weeks ago, that my children’s car seats are not properly installed. On some level, this is completely inconceivable to me given the amount of time and effort I’ve spent trying to figure out how my children’s car seats AND the extra money I spent on car seats that were “easier” to install, but it would be better if they were tethered.
- Water – drowning and car accidents are the most common causes of death in children under the age of 18. And in Florida, there is water everywhere. My home does not have a pool. I don’t want a home that has a pool for two reasons. First, I am not good at maintenance and the idea of maintaining a pool is completely daunting to me. Second, I just don’t think I could handle the fear of my children drowning. Nevertheless, I feel like I’m not free of fear – there’s a retention pond in my front yard, a canal behind my house (both of which could have alligators in them), a giant ocean 20 minutes from my house and a whole bunch of waterways that lead into them. What if my kids fall in???? oh yeah, and a bathtub, which both of my children are smart enough to turn on anytime they want to have a bath.
- Food. Am I feeding my children enough? Too much? Are they getting all their vitamins? If I give them packaged food will they have childhood diabetes? Will they be part of the childhood obesity epidemic? What if they’re too small? Why won’t they eat breakfast????
- Screen time. The American Academy of Pediatrics highly recommends that you limit screen time for your children. I can tell it makes a big difference, especially at the end of the day. But on the other hand, sometimes, I just want to be able to plop them in front of an educational program for 30 minutes to an hour and take a shower by myself.
- Teeth. My daughter had her first dentist appointment last month. It is something I’ve been putting off for two years. For reasons that are completely inexplicable to me, I was terrified that she was going to have a mouth full of cavities, need a root canal, and braces all on her first visit. So, when the dentist delicately informed me that there was a small cavity in between her front two teeth, but her teeth were otherwise in great shape I was ecstatic. Nevertheless, I am struggling with the balance between letting her take responsibility for her own oral hygiene (have you ever tried to convince a headstrong toddler that “no really, you should let me brush your teeth”) and wanting to micromanage her flossing – despite her protests – to be sure it’s done correctly.
I’m a big believer that when we shine a light on our fears they become less powerful. We can see them for what they really are and deal with them rather than the big, scary shadows of fear that we project when we let them run wild. In fact, just writing all this down has calmed the anxiety I feel.
I also believe that the antidote to fear is information, so here are some resources I’ve found useful.
Video that showed me my car seats needed to be installed better
Have a Professional Check Your Car Seat
Swim Lessons Won’t Keep Your Toddler From Drowning
Drowning Doesn’t Look Like Drowning
The Story in Our Smiles – On Point Radio, June 15, 2017
Speaking of screen time, this episode of Sesame Street, Abby’s First Sleep Over – solved a lot of problems for me with my daughter going to bed and brushing her teeth.
For some reason, Elmo telling her to brush her teeth was more persuasive than me. Also, the kids on Sesame Street showing her how to fall asleep was better than anything I ever tried. So…sometimes a little bit of television can save you a huge amount of pain and suffering.
I get this 100%! I have these exact same concerns and fears. For me, parenting is an ever growing snowball of fears.
I just wrote a paragraph of response to each of those things but decided it was too long to post lol. However, I thought I was the only one who struggled with the thought of brushing and flossing for my child to make sure its done right and letting him do it bc he is 6 now and should be able too. He also had a cavity and he did FANTASTIC in the chair. Good thing he couldn’t see my face bc I was balling. It’s like brushing a moving, wiggling, sloppy mess, whiney, slippery little target! Much more difficult than it looks lol
There are so many things to be afraid of as a parent! I would have loved to hear all about your experiences with car seats, water, teeth brushing, and food. I’m kind of obsessed with it!
And, yes, little people are so hard to get to brush those teeth! I am still struggling.